Art Fairs and Bullshit

A few notes to preface this:
1. I'm still in Ann Arbor.
2. There's an art fair in Ann Arbor.
3. I'm kind of a dick.

Ok, so for those who don't know, Ann Arbor, Michigan hosts an art fair every year, this is like the Mecca of people who suck. I have seen more colored skinny jeans in the past 2 days than I had seen in my whole life. I'm 90% sure that over half of these people either work at , or have worked at American Apparel or Urban Outfitters. However, there is also a weird paradox in that, besides weirdos there are also old people and families who think this is a good place for kids. There are a lot of reasons why that's not true. Namely there are a ton of hippies, meaning lots of weed. Also, half of the art is of naked men. Now that some of that background is complete, there are some anecdotes that I'd like to get to.

1. Diversi3. No that wasn't a typo. That was a sad reflection on how much my generation sucks. I'm walking on the sidewalk, minding my own business, when I come across 2 white ladies and a black guy. 1 of the white chicks has a cello, the other has a violin. The black guy is just kind of dancing around and yelling at all of us. "Diversi3! Diversi3 man! Come watch!" As I walk by, I take it upon myself to point out that, although Diversi3 rhymes with diversity, it doesn't really make sense. He is not happy about this. "Look man, you just don't get it. There's 3 of us." I didn't really take the time to answer him, but I'd like to point out, that 2 white people and a black person is not particularly diverse. Yes, he is correct, it is more diverse than say, a group of 3 white people, but there are a lot of races being left out here. What about Asians? Native Americans? Latinos? As I was walking away I could hear them breaking out into a terrible rendition of "Viva La Vida". Sorry black guy, but your band sucks. I've decided to start a counter band, Diversi4. It will be me and 3 other racially ambiguous dudes.

2. Creepy old people. Some friends and I were walking down the street, when suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, we were accosted by an old man. "Come have your photo taken!" Then 2 other middle aged women joined in. "Get your picture taken!" Everyone is excited but us. We decide it's best to walk over and just get the picture taken to defuse the situation. When we get over there, the old man proceeds to creep us the fuck out. "There's a curtain back there for you to take your clothes off! BAHAHAHAHA!" I'm not sure where the humor in child pornography is, but this guy apparently found it.

3. Religious people don't understand art. As I walked to Chipotle to eat a delicious burrito, I heard a grating terrible noise in the air. Christianity! Old men rocking chin strap goatees were in everyone's business. I tried to shout to them that it was a fucking art fair, but alas, it was to no avail. They were standing on stuff and screaming about Jesus and how great he was. They had signs that had entire paragraphs of bullshit on them. I'm still not sure what they were so riled up about. They weren't like protesting anything, they were just being really loud. Funny moment: A Middle-Eastern man happened to walk by right as one of the Christians was shouting about how much Muhammad sucks. The Middle-Eastern guy got right in his face and started cussing at him, he then flipped him off and walked away. Go Islam.

That's mostly what happened. And yet, I can't help but find myself slightly missing the art fair and all the weirdos it brought into my life.







Oh wait, nevermind I got that backwards, fuck the art fair.