The Upside of Anger

Yeah so that's a movie title, but this isn't about that movie (which I've heard mixed reviews about), this is about me being pissed off. I haven't written anything angry in quite some time, so I figure I need to, so I don't lose my edge. Here is some shit (that's a pun, you'll see) that has been pissing me off of late. It's all camp related.

1. Jewish Shit. A Jewish kid shat on my bed. Pun: see above. That's right, an Israeli statist dumped on my bed just like Israel dumps on Palestinians. Let me set the scene. We're all chilling in my room. Somehow, this kid gets in. He always wears Israeli Defense Force shirts. In other words, he openly endorses genocide. Is it ok to wear Jonjaweed shirts? No. Anyway, we're sitting, and then it begins to smell terrible in my room. This kid has a goofy smile on his face and blurts out, "my bad guys I farted." Keep in mind he is lounging on my bed as this happens. Not but five seconds later he gets up and walks towards the door. Before he goes, he says, "I have to go to the bathroom really bad." Wow, thanks, you definitely just shit on my bed. I feel like this is the ultimate injustice. He came back 30 minutes later with different pants on, the smoking gun. Absolutely vile. I did not sleep well that nite. Keep in mind he still denies this, I'd like to know exactly how the timing could be that perfect. It couldn't, it's a logical impossiblity.

2. PDA. Not palm pilots or blackberrys. I'm talking public displays of affection. My case in point is a good friend of mine, Lee, and his girlfriend Alyssa. So I don't mind hand holding, hugging, or any of the standard fare, but christ I don't want to watch intercourse happen in front of me. Let alone the sort of BDSM shit that they're always up to. Lee is always pushing her up against walls. They're groping and fondling. It's weird. Not to mention the like just general weirdness that they engage in. Despite this, Aleesa still manage to be incredibly awkward about their relationship. Sometimes they'll be afraid to like hold hands, or touch shoulders. It's confusing to say the least. Over the past 6 weeks I've heard this whiny phrase way too often, "Buuuuut Leeeeeeeee you can't doooo that." Based on the rest of what I'm saying I'll let you fill in the blank of what the "that" could be. I don't wanna vomit all over my computer.

3. Quinn Zemel. Nobody knows this person, but I assure you, he sucks. Everything he says is whiny and annoying. He uses far too much hair gel, it's a fucking fire hazard. Not to mention the glare coming off his stupid head when he is walking around. Throw in the fact that he is dumb as a rock, a bitch to play basketball with, and just an overall bane of my existence. He is also overly sensitive about Jewish jokes. The good thing is, I outlined reasons why he sucks. He thinks they're super generic when they are really, super specific.

4. Potle. There is a certain person I know, who refuses to call Chipotle by it's real name. He blatantly mispronounces it and admits as much. My time in Michigan has been marred by the constant nagging of this person. Constantly, it never stops. "Harr Harr, Potle!" There is so much wrong with those 3 words I don't know where to begin, honestly. He also wears women jeans. I feel like it should be obvious that if I wanted to be called by an effeminate nickname I would introduce myself that way. I'm not a teddy bear, or a dog, I'm a person, and it's annoying as hell to get called that. Unless it was a girl calling me that, but it isn't, it's a guy. It just makes it fucked up. We're old enough to get called by actual given names. Second of all. Why Potle? That's not the name of the restaurant. He takes off the pronunciation of the e so it becomes potel, which is just fucking infuriating. It's really not difficult to say it right. I actually have stopped going there since he started calling it that. Sorry Chipotle, but you pay for the sins of this idiot.