Year One and Other Movie Related Atrocities

Today, I saw "Year One". The so called stone age comedy starring Jack Black and Michael Cera. To say I watched this would be incorrect. I'd rather say that I was subject to it. I'm not going to write a review, but I'll say this: This was the worst movie I've ever seen. It's a rare thing if a comedy fails to make me laugh or smile a single damn time. It was predictable and stupid, and pretty much unbearable. I'm still not sure why I watched the whole thing. I give it 10 white dwarfs. The opposite of stars.

On a vaguely related note, I have been to the movies a lot the past few weeks, and it's given me a chance to really evaluate and observe the "cinema scene". I have come to a conclusion: Edwards 24 is a douche magnet. Here are some anecdotes to prove this.

1. A guy wearing pre-frayed cargo shorts, and a hollister polo, with aviators up on his forehead, walks into the lobby. The first thing he says, and he yells this, no joke, is this, "They have fucking Marble Slab here? Fuck yes! I didn't know that man." I'm surprised I could remember all this because when he said it, all I heard was him proclaiming his toolhood.

2. 5 guys wearing matching American Eagle gear are in line for concessions. 3 of them get their stuff and start to walk away. Suddenly, they turn around and start yelling back to their buddies. "Hey guys! We're gonna go find the theater. Jeremy says it's theater 3 but I don't think so. Meet us at the theater. I lost my ticket man. Alright Brad, hurry up."

3. This last one isn't about douchebags necessarily, but it's more just something that I find unbelievably annoying. I've been to 2 comedies the past few weeks. Year One (if that even counts as comedy. Eugh.) and The Hangover. Both times I experienced a frightful thing. A laugher. Now, everyone knows it's all well and good to laugh when you go to a comedy film. That's the point of going. However, if you have one of the most abrasive, loud, and grating laughs in the world, I'd really prefer if you skipped the comedy and went to a drama. Your presence in the theater is a negative for everyone. I wonder how you avoid hearing yourself. It takes one laugher to make a good movie, turn very bad. In short, no one wants you there, so don't show up.

That's pretty much it. I've taken an oath to myself, to take an hour to just people watch (read: douche watch) at Edwards. Based on my experiences so far, it won't take long to see someone who annoys the crap out of me.